Is That A Mitt In Your Pocket - Or Are You Just Pleased To See Me?
by Mike Knipe, Crook
I once had the most painful experience on Walk ny157 High Harker Hill and Greets Hill from Reeth in The Yorkshire Dales.
It was the depths of winter - and in the below-the-belt area of my couture.
I was wearing my trusty thermal long-johns under my trousers but unfortunately, the opening at the front was a bit like Gaping Gill, and I wasn't wearing the underwear which was a bit silly.
Anyway, such was the biting nature of the wind that day, that I began to experience severe pain, and what I took to be a freezing sensation, in the same sort of way that pipes freeze up on a cold night. I suffered this in silence for several hours until it began to become just too much to bear.
I did the only thing possible and fitted my er . . . 'little general' . . . with a thermal mitt, preferring to lose a few fingers, rather than anything else. (I've always got spare fingers!)
By the time I got back to Reeth, I was toasty warm in the naughty regions but I'd forgotten about the mitt - until a stranger brought my attention to the bulge in my trousers.
It may have been just outside the police station.
© Mike Knipe. Mike Knipe is an experienced outdoor enthusiast, walk leader and writer who has worked with Durham County Council and English Nature (aka Natural England).
The views expressed by contributors are not necessarily those held by go4awalk.com.