The Art of Getting Lost - a word from the Author
Hello, I'm Gnasher the Dog and I'm having to retire from serious fell walking due to a dicky ticker. However, I've been asked to pass on my experience and a few tips to you hill walkers on the Art of Getting Lost. I hope this light-hearted look will raise a smile and make all that aimless wandering about just that bit more interesting and, above-all, fun.
Anyone who wishes to try out these tips on their next expedition is warned that due to Health and Safety legislation, getting lost is illegal in 12 European countries. As it happens, it's still OK in Britain - but it won't be long.... so make the most of it while you still can.
Denis, my walking companion and dog food tin-opener, is a very very very experienced hill walker. True, he does have his limitations, but I have to say, that over the thirteen years of Sundays that I've been pulling his arm off, (I never learened to walk to heel) his greatest skill is in self-dislocation.
Suddenly, and usually about ten minutes before sunset, that "only half a mile to go before we get back to the car", becomes a brutal two hours of deep heather, falling into holes, blasphemy, bad language, heresy, disloyalty to the Crown and emergency sardine eating frenzy (I really don't know why he does that).
Anyway - click on the links on the left to see a short series of parables to illustrate the point.
Just remember, everybody gets lost. Best make the most of it, that's what I say anyway.