Lost - Hairy Bloke Walking Hiking & Rambling

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Lost - Hairy Bloke

LOST: - one very tall, hairy individual last seen on the Kinder Scout Trail in the Pennines.

Will be easily recognised - shorts arms (struggles to reach bottom of pockets in pubs) and leaps around as if walking on the moon (although struggles with gravity).

If you have found this item email the with 'Found' in the title and will put you in touch with each other.

FOUND (& LOST AGAIN):

I think I’ve seen him!!

He was indeed exceedingly hairy. In fact, I reckon he’d been walking for days without stopping as he was very, very hairy and far, far away from Kinder Scout at the top end of Nidderdale actually.

He looked quite rough but had an inane grin (as though he’d just won the lottery), and expression that could only really be described as ‘moronic’.

In fact, I wanted to take him home, look after him and give him a nice cup of cocoa, for it was clear to me what was going on here.

He’d come down with a serious case of ‘Mountain Madness’.

Oh yes, I’ve seen this before. In fact I often have to observe my own behaviour when in the hills in case I catch it too. It sneaks up on you, you see, when you’re unawares.

You just go on a really nice walk you’ve planned, preferably somewhere craggy and awe-strikingly beautiful, and if it’s a clear day you look over to the next peak and think, 'that looks great!'.

Before you know what you are doing you’re off, going from ‘interesting peak’ to ‘interesting peak’ and you’ve come down with 'The Madness'.

The hills take over you. You can’t remember what you’d set out to do, you just get carried away with the hugeness of it all and the beauty of the hills, and the excitement of that distant scramble that looks so inviting!!!

Before you know it it’s days or even weeks later and you are utterly lost: in yourself, in the hills and in your own gleeful pleasure.

Unfortunately, as a woman on my own, it wouldn’t have been safe for me to challenge this lone Hairy Mad Creature, for the merest suggestion of tearing him away from the hills would surely have resulted in a nasty confrontation.

So I gave him a Mars Bar and sent him on his way.

Anyway that was last Sunday, so he could be anywhere by now.

Sorry.

Tina Chard

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